The Lunch of a Lifetime, Part Two

From the moment you pass through the garden and enter the painted door of the French Laundry, there is a hush, as if you are in a very holy place. There is an expectation that a choir of angels might sing thee to thy table. But first comes the brief detainment in the anteroom, which feels vaguely like a funeral parlor. Perhaps it’s the presence of the biggest vase of flowers I have ever seen in my life. Easily half the size of the room. So I start to worry, am I worthy of this great opportunity? Or will I be given a plate of jalapeño poppers and shown the door? The grave Maitre d’/Funeral Director carefully researches what could be a tenuous claim to a reservation. He has seen the pretenders, “Are you sure you have no record of us?!,” they must plead. Maitre d’ and his assistants must sense my apprehension and deep-seated fear. Wait a minute - I’m from New York! – I can handle the pretentious staff member or two. Yet they are anything but surly. Just really, really smart. Rocket science-smart. And hip - seriously so. I am humbled. Strikingly good-looking and flawlessly attired, they are also warm, as if they are welcoming us to their home. I’m guessing this is home to them, their own Nirvana. A near-perfect world.

Michael convinced the Gatekeeper of Great Cuisine that he had made our anniversary reservation before we were even married (!) but these are not people you joke around with. Anyway, it’s an amazing 10 years today. THANK YOU, MICHAEL, for everything, especially putting up with my quirkiness. (How come you don’t have any quirks? I’m going to look into that…) But back to lunch. We are led to the dining rooms, which are anything but funereal. The bouquets are smaller, and the hush is gone – now that the guests have gotten this far there is great relief. The tables are beautifully set with carefully pressed and starched white linens. (The ghosts of the laundry at work?) There is even a wooden clothespin attached to the napkin. The French Laundry’s phone number is on it. I get the sense that now, right now, would be a good time to call to reserve next year’s anniversary lunch.

Next up: food and drink – bring it on!