2009! Bring it on!

San Francisco, with its culture of food, wine and sophisticated fun, is a great New Year’s Eve kind of city. At least I’m pretty sure of it, as I haven’t actually done New Year’s in the city. And this is not the year for an extravagant evening of packing our drunken selves into cable cars for party hopping that ends with a night in the penthouse in the Fairmont. We’ll leave the decadence to the rock stars and heads of state. Instead, we’ll be ringing in the New Year in Napa, opting for a subtle, inexpensive, reasonably quiet but hopefully very fun gathering of friends, clients and even one vendor for a WHITE ELEPHANT PARTY!

Having just done one at the kids’ school that didn’t work all that well, I am determined to make this party memorable. Just like Michael and I used to do in New York!
So, if you like to wait until the very last minute to make New Year’s plans, or you’re in the mood to plan for next month, here’s my way of doing it.

A White Elephant party is simply a silly gift exchange, which, when done correctly, brings out the great humor and crafty strategy of your guests. However, every time I do one of these parties, otherwise intelligent people tend to get it wrong. Be very clear in your invite, State that guests are to bring one gift per person, not per couple. Gifts should be wrapped but not tagged, as no one knows who will be opening them. Tell them their gifts can be anything - except something bought for the event “that everyone would like”. A Red House cashmere scarf for example, would be an inappropriate White Elephant gift. But a sausage in the shape of a teddy bear has great potential. I always have a few extra wrapped gifts in case someone forgets theirs. (This always happens!) Guests should be advised that they will be expected to tell a brief story about their gift after someone opens it. Some guests find this cumbersome for some reason, so emphasize brief.

When guests arrive, they place their gifts under the tree and everyone carries on with drinks, dinner and catching up until it is time for the Real Party. Do not start the White Elephant too late though as it takes time, and those who leave before it’s over mess things up. Find out in advance if any guests need to leave early to relieve babysitters or walk dogs. Ideally, state a planned end time on the invite. For New Year’s, I’ve said 1:00 a.m. That gives us time for a “break” to toast 2009 and kiss.

When it’s time for the party to begin, pass around a bowl with numbers to draw corresponding to the number of people (and gifts.) The person who has “1” gets to choose first. Person #2 can choose any of the wrapped gifts or Person #1’s unwrapped item. The higher the number, the greater the options. As each gift is opened, the person who brought it expounds on its significance, provenance, or in my case reads as much as an entire typewritten page about the gift. (I like to tell a story!) This is maybe why others find the oratorical request daunting. But remember, public speaking is a valuable skill. And I think entertaining doesn’t get any better than this!

Two rounds of White Elephant are typically played. This gives Person #1 the opportunity to “steal” back his or her original gift or dispense with the clunker they have had since the beginning. The more bizarre gifts get traded a lot. And every once in a while there’s a clearly tacky gift that actually appeals to one guest. An example? A box of vanilla/nutmeg bath salts that was represented by the person who brought it as having the option of doubling as a pancake mix. The guest who took it home couldn’t wait to try it. Not sure whether it made it to the bath or kitchen!

That, my friends, is why you should plan to have or attend one of these parties soon. In uncertain times, laughter and good wine are the best medicine. Happy New Year, everyone!