Under Siege

I COULD NOT believe what I was seeing- there had to be some explanation. “Dynamite” and “keep dry” were handwritten on the rather ordinary-looking cardboard box. I carefully pulled it out from under the bed and opened it - it wasn’t even taped. Sure enough, eight sticks in bubble wrap. Why would Natalie have these?! She works in a winery, not a mine! I had to find out what she was up to. Should I call the police? F.B.I.? The Bureau of Land Management? I decided not to get the government involved just yet, but I did move the box to the garage, placed it in the corner farthest from the house and put a bag of potting soil on top. (As if that would absorb the explosion!)

Just as I was about to text Natalie (which, I have learned, is the quickest way to get her to respond) her mother (my sister) called. The Tata Nano car they wanted to get for Natalie isn’t available yet so they are going to get her something here in California. And, since they now are not driving west they wanted to come to the birthday celebration five days early – tomorrow (!) and was that ok…? AAHH! What could I say? I had no real party plans in place yet, and a box of explosives in the garage, but sure, Monique! I gritted my teeth and told her it would be great to see her and Jon TOMORROW. (Hopefully, I said it without a shred of sarcasm.) Now what?!

I rushed to meet with the group of realtors who were suddenly not in agreement about the house encircled by a heart as the logo for their red polo shirts. Apparently, the do-gooding agents are not all with the same firm and petty disagreements had already arisen concerning the colors of flowers chosen to brighten up yards, and even which brand of window cleaner they should be using. (Sale price won out over green formula.) Ordinarily, this sort of issue would not be a problem for me: I’d hear all opinions and carefully consider and offer my own - except for the fact that the order was in and embroidery was already scheduled. I had to jump on this now if the logo was not to end up being a house broken in pieces. (Interesting that that image came to mind just after I stashed dynamite in my garage!)